Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
