Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
