It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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