Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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