Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
