Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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