guys are not supposed to queef...right?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
