the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
