Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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