I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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