IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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