My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I love you.
Bad choice
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
