Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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