At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
