all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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