I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
