so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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