Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
