Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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