Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
worst night to have a conscience
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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