i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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