I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
we have pet lesbian snakes
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
