I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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