You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
