Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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