I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
