Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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