i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
