Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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