He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
