My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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