Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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