I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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