Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
