I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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