well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
