My nipple is on Facebook.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
