he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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