Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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