i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
