Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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