Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
