We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
