Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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