We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
