Do vagina's smell?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
