I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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