i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
