Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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