I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
