I accidentally had phone sex last night
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
