For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
