My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
