Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
