she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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